What did I do to deserve a friend like you?
Friday afternoon when Jon and I broke up, my world was pretty much turned upside down. I thought that he was one of the few people that I could trust blindly. Sometimes I catch myself still shocked that he actually cheated and that he wasn't ever going to tell me. The most painful was the emotional cheating that he did...and all those bad little thoughts about ourselves that we all try so hard to suppress came flooding towards me. Because as I've found, when you're alone and wide awake at 3 a.m. it's hard to remember that it isn't you and it wasn't your fault.
I wondered if there were good, honest people out there and if people were worth trusting at all...
Your support over the last couple of days through thoughts, prayers, phone calls, emails, and comments have meant so much!
It's helped me to feel grounded. It's reminded me that there are good people who still know right from wrong. It's made me feel loved even though I am trying to release the feeling of being rejected. It's helped me realize how thankful that I am that I get to be in your lives. It's renewed my faith in the goodness of people and given me the strength to let go of some of the anger, hurt, and sadness. Even those that have offered to call or "visit" him have made me feel protected, cared for, and that it's okay to lean on people. What's more is that it's helped me remember that I will be able to trust whomever I date in the future...maybe more tentatively than in the past, but I will be able to trust again.
I doubt I'll ever know what I did to deserve friends like you. In truth, I don't think I did anything to deserve it.
You are a gift. Your friendship is a gift.
And I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
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