Know how American Idol has a performance show and then a results show where they shatter someone's dreams and then ask them to sing the exact song that got them kicked off (while they're undoubtedly emotional and likely to butcher the song even more)? Well this post is like that...except that I'm not as drunk as Paula is. It's a results post.
I had a conversation with new guy last night (please, let's just call him G). We talked about the online dating thing and the whole staying active on match.com thing. By the time we had the conversation, I had worked myself up into a frazzled worry.
So I started off the conversation with a lot of disclaimers ("I didn't know we would start dating when I signed up for match.com," etc.) ...and then I explained the match.com guarantee with so much detail that I was boring myself. I explained about how I knew neither one of us could say with certainty that we would be dating in 5 months...and that I wasn't pushing him to make a commitment or anything...but that I wanted to keep my options open. Not for now, but for later. And then I re-explained the match.com guarantee thing. Then I told him my plan of only emailing five people per month to decline people's intentions (winks or emails). And then I apologized for being selfish because I didn't want to waste the idea of six months. I went ahead and explained the details of the match.com guarantee thing again for good measure.
He waited until I had run out of steam (I really can talk quickly when I'm worried or fired up about something) and asked, "Are you done?"
When I said yes, he said "I think that the plan that you have is absolutely fine."
So I exhaled the air that I had apparently been holding and felt good.
There's only one other person that I'd even remotely consider dating right now, other than G. And that's the guy that has been in my head and heart for a long time. G knows about him and, for now, is patient with my quest to get over him. Besides, he has some feelings that he's still trying to work through with his ex...which makes us being friends first absolutely fantastic. Some days are better than others...but I'm actively trying. And I guess I feel like that's at least a good start.