Monday, March 02, 2009

Cleaning house...

Yesterday something fantastic happened. I finally got rid of my extra mattress and boxspring... ones that had been cluttering my dining area for almost 5 months.

I know, you're thinking 5 MONTHS TO GET RID OF A QUEEN SET??? First, I wasn't sure that the new bed would work out...and I wanted to wait until after my 60 day trial period was done. Then Christmas happened...and then I really wanted to get a lot more for it than what apparently used beds have a market value for. I finally succumbed to the reality that things I've slept on are not worth much. Sadly, I probably didn't need Craigslist to tell me that. Anyway a nice couple came by to pick up the bed and now I am slightly less in debt.

It's amazing how much better my place looks! :) I've said it before, but my place is about 750 square feet...and moving FROM a place that was 1511 has taken a lot of getting used to. I'm still trying to figure out where I should put stuff and what I should get rid of. And yes, it has been over a year since I moved in.

The removal spurned my cleaning and re-organizing of several things in my place...stuff that I've been meaning to go through for the past year. I moved around furniture, made spaces more efficient, and went through my pantry so that I'd throw out all the crap that has either expired or I know that I won't eat.

The result? My place looks better than it has before. Which I'd like to report actually says something...but it looked so bad before that that statement just means "it looks less like the cluttered closet it is."

The last bit of cleaning that I did was a difficult choice. I un-friended my ex on Facebook. See...HE added me. And I've always been that person that hates for someone to be angry or frustrated with them so I accepted his virtual friendship and went on my merry way. Until he posted a status update that was funny. I commented on it and his current girlfriend JUMPED on that comment and couldn't really let it go. And I was all "Dude. I don't get paid enough for this." So I sent him a message asking how he wanted me to handle it...and didn't get a response. I'd like to say that that is not like him...but the reality is, it is so very like him.

I realized how unhealthy it is to want to be friends with ex-boyfriends. I'm friends with one, Rex (aka the guy who now probably wishes we weren't friends because I made a funny about Jesus). He had cancer when I was dating him...and I think that the stuff that we went through together sort of bonded us. The difference is that Rex ALSO treats me in a friendly way. We touch base every couple of months and I would definitely say that our relationship is like how we were when we dated - mutual and two-sided. Versus mine with Jon, where it was so very one sided.

I realized that I'm ready to let go of the ex. The reality is, he treated me badly even before he cheated. The reality is that he's not even a good friend. The reality is that his issues overwhelm many people around him - and that's an undertow that I've grown weary of struggling with. The reality is that when I clicked the button to remove him, I knew it was the right choice. I knew it was the healthy choice.

And just like with the removal of my mattress set, I'm a little surprised at how good cleaning house can feel.


Amy said...

Way to go on cleaning house. It must look great with out an extra bed and ex's around.

Patty said...

You are so right. I'm glad you decided what you did. Cleaning up can really feel great!

Patty said...

Oh and I gave you an award a while back but I think you might have missed it. I was eager to see what you would answer.

Slackey said...

Yay cleaning up! I know I feel much more calm/organized/sane when everything is clean and orderly.

Also, great job on defriending the ex. Sometimes you just have to let the toxic relationships go. I defriended my toxic ex best friend and his lovely girlfriend Trogdor the Wonder Troll in November, and I was truly shocked by how "less-crazy" it made me.

And, to continue our favorite thing of leaving LONG comments, I read the "My Baby is Having a Stroke" post you have a link for, and seriously almost peed my pants. It's official- we need to be best friends and seal it by skipping through a meadow or something.

Hope you're having a lovely day!