I know, I haven't written in almost a week. What is wrong with me? Where are my priorities? Sheesh.
Here's the deal, I've had a lot going on this week and have had it combined with the least sleep I've ever had in my life. And here's where I assure the moms that read my blog that I'm not comparing my lack of sleep to your lack of sleep with newborns because OH MY GOSH that is just insane how you moms do it. Seriously, I thought the childbirth part of it was God's punishment to Eve and all the rest of us...so what is with this bullshit about not sleeping for months afterwards?
I thought the lack of sleep thing was fixed when I adjusted the slats of my bed. Turns out that that happened to not have a lasting effect. And darn it if I was going to take back my solution since I compared myself to a princess. Do you know how much I still want to be a princess? I'm not going to give that up, are you crazy?
So, I've been walking around like a zombie from "Shaun of the Dead" for the past week. BTW, that movie is so funny that if you haven't seen it, you probably should never admit it to me - because I'll likely stop whatever you're doing, drag you to Blockbuster, rent the movie, and then drag you back home with me to watch it. Wait, I own it. Whatever. You get what I'm saying.
So I went to go mattress shopping and had narrowed it down to a Sleep Number or a Tempurpedic mattress. Why? Because marketing works on me. And after going to multiple stores (first Sleep Number store had a sales person/manager who I SWEAR was snorting cocaine in the back room and I'm not even kidding), I finally decided on getting a Sleep Number bed. And I'm going to feel happy about my purchase and not think on how I would've bought a sleeping bag for the same amount of money if they would've just let me sleep there for 15 minutes.
But, getting back to the title of the post, I was surprised at how all of the salespeople that I met kept asking if it was just me. Umm...yes. I'm single. And I still want a queen size bed because I'm not in college any more.
One of them asked me if I shared a bed with someone and all I could think of saying was "I don't have a significant other." WHY DID I SAY THAT? I don't even have an INsignificant other. So the whole pitch, she was very careful to mention "partner" instead of "husband." And I couldn't figure out how to work in the whole "I'm not gay, I'm just stupid when it comes to defining things while laying down and trying not to fall asleep during your demo" speech in.
But hey, I have a new bed...
2 days ago