Like, you know those silly church raffles where you pay $1 and hope to win a basketful of Michael Bolton cassette tapes or a maybe even a monogrammed Bible cover? Well, despite entering about eleventy hundred church raffles, I never won...no matter how times (or how genuinely) I sang "He's Got The Whole World (In His Hands)." For those that know the song I'm talking about, you should take note that I EVEN DID THE HAND MOTIONS TO THAT SONG. And what did I get for my troubles? NADA. You'd think that I would've at least won a pencil with "Jesus Loves You" on it. But NO!
Or how about when the emcee of a conference encourages you to look under your chair for a colored piece of paper taped to the bottom... clearly indicating that you've won something cool like the "Back to The Future" Trilogy? Yeah. Despite my best attempts, I've never sat in that chair.
I've never won anything on a lottery ticket and I never get a parking space close to the front of the store. I always pick the security line at the airport with the most anal retentive TSA agent. I've never gotten two of anything at a vending machine due to malfunction of the coil.
What I'm trying to say is that, in general, I'm unlucky.
But I have been given a fantastic opportunity - one that I'm so excited to tell you about.
I was selected to be the first blogger featured at Tales from the Blog. Tales from the Blog is a site that has a lot of useful information (so you may want to sign up for the RSS feed).
A super cool thing about that site is that they have decided to feature a blogger a week...and it's not even one of the big named bloggers. In fact, this week it is me! :)
Not only that, but I was made into a HOT 3D animated character!
In fact, it's probably best that you go there RIGHT NOW to listen to the interview. It's only 8 minutes long and besides, if you watch it, you will be entered into a random raffle where you could win...um...a prize. Yes. A prize.
What's the prize that you might win?
Um...well, I can't tell you (because then it wouldn't be so cool), but um...it's good. Really, really good. And all of your friends will want one. Also, if you get it, your hair will grow longer and stronger. And you'll have more money. And a bigger penis and/or boobs. Maybe both.
And I'm not kidding about the prize. Leave a comment that you visited the site and I'll pick a random winner and totally send a prize to you.
So, um...you should totally check it out.
And since I know you all so well, I'll just answer the questions that you're bound to have:
1) Yes, I really do look like that in real life. I sent pictures of myself to the producer/host and the measurements of my body that she came up with are EXACTLY CORRECT. No need to go back and view past pictures that I put on this blog because that is exactly what my body looks like. Exactly.
2) I had a cold when the interview was recorded. I do not sound like a man...typically. And the cold medicine helped me ramble more than I do...typically.
3) Yes. Apparently, I did get lei'd before the interview. Woo hoo! And that may or may not have been how I scored said interview. A good
4) That *is* exactly what my living room looks like. The fresh cut fruit is a b!tch to keep up with, but it's a pretty table decoration and besides, my smokin' hot guests like it.
5) Yes. You heard me correctly. "I can't be a part of peaches." A dorkier answer during an interview may never have been given before. That is exactly the kind of quality statement that I bring to interviews. It's a wonder I haven't done more of these.
6) I am eating a grilled cheese sandwich right now.
7) All of the above statements are true, as far as you know.
So basically, I'm thrilled that I was selected to be a part of this project. They're going to feature other bloggers weekly and I can't wait to see/hear who the other bloggers are.
Being a featured blogger on an uber cool web site? It's yet another thing to scratch off my "Bucket List."