Friday, September 11, 2009

At this rate, I'll be ready to die in 5 years

'Member when I went speed dating a few months ago?* Me too! :) I made a joke during that post about my "Bucket List" and how, after being begged not to leave a guy at the bar, it had gotten one item shorter. Well, you may be happy to learn that I just scratched another thing off of my list!

This past weekend, Kelly and I were on our way into a fabric store in Peoria, Illinois when I heard all sorts of hooting and hollering - only it sounded like it was coming from GOD.

Turns out, God was not hooting and hollering...but rather the cell phone tower repair men located 40 feet in the air were. They were waving and waggling their parts in our general direction, which as far as I know, is something God typically doesn't do.** As soon as we were out of sight, the hooting stopped. When we came out of the store, the whistling started again so it was clear to me that we were the objects of desire.

I was thrilled.

I know some of you may roll your eyes and are about ready to send me a message about how women shouldn't be objectified. "Women are people too!" you might be thinking. But you're wrong.*** Because, really, don't all of us want to be objectified on SOME level? It's all well and good to be complimented on being smart and funny, but what about the stuff that REALLY matters - like our looks?****

Anyway, it does occur to me that we were probably a good 40 years younger than the median age of the person going into that rural fabric store. AND that the cell phone waves probably warped their brains and/or eyesight so that they couldn't see us well anyway. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. The point is, some half-blind guy who is used to looking at grannies thinks I'm worthy of being oogled.

Dream big, people. Because it could happen to you too!


*So that's actually where I met the guy that I'm dating now. For the sake of (almost) anonymity, I'll call him J. I am really enjoying my time with him. He has me laughing much of the time and when you combine that with the fact that he's a genuinely nice guy? Well, let's just say the only way I could like him more right now is if he fed me Reece's Pieces. He's supportive, sweet, thoughtful, and smart. I feel like I should throw in a disclaimer to say that I don't know him overly well, it's only been two months, that things could still go wrong and blah blah blah. But I don't really feel like qualifying it. While I'm not in love, I'm pretty darn happy dating him mostly because I actually ENJOY being around him. (gasp!) I look forward to the time that we spend together. It's like we're friends but with chemistry... and all I'm saying is that it's about frickin' time.

**Church might have more attendees if God would revisit His stance on waggling, hooting, and hollering. I'm just saying.

*** Clearly, the lesson here is that women are not people.

***Yes, yes. I'm kidding.

2 comments:

JayneSees said...

I am all for being hooted at! Haha. The other day, this guy was checking me out---until he saw my belly and quickly ran away. I was very pleased with myself until the look of terror crossed his face....

Timp said...

This is the most upbeat September 11 remembrance I've read today. I'm glad the slack jawed yokels are finally taking notice of you. I too had a dry spell for awhile. It had been months since a coed had thrown their panties at me during a concert. I was starting to feel a little like a troll, but that all changed during a very memorable Labor Day concert. It's good to see we're both getting the attention we deserve.