Despite my joking, the last time I went there were some great guys at the event - funny, smart, and outgoing. Out of the 12 guys last time, I was picked by 3 to be seen again...although I didn't actually see any of them again. They weren't the ones that I picked to date again. At the risk of being repetitive, this is the story of my life.
This time there were only 6 guys. I was picked by 5 of them to be seen again...which I have to say is quite the ego boost. I am confident that my attire had a lot to do with it as the "girls" were looking mighty fine - thanks to a low cut shirt and a bra that hoisted them up to where they should normally be. Seroiusly, I was even mesmorized by how they looked that night.
The last guy was so seemingly nervous during our "date" that I started wondering if he was having a physical allergic reaction to something he was drinking. His heavy sighs, his pulling at the neck of his shirt, and general weirdness made me think that something was wrong. So I asked him if he was alright, and he said that he was nervous and that the room we were in was making him feel even more nervous. Since it was the last date, he asked if we wanted to step into the bar area and get another beer. The guy was good looking, had a stable job, and seemed nice so I decided to get to know him a tad better. We stepped out of the room, he gave a huge sigh of relief, claimed he was better and then proceeded to act EXACTLY THE SAME WAY.
Twenty minutes later (and four shots of Jager and another beer - all for him) I realized that I needed an exit plan. The guy was just WEIRD. He was slurring by this point, talking about how he'd f--d (his word) a lot of women in the last 90 days to get over the last girl he was seeing but that he was looking for someone that wanted to have kids. He talked about how he read a book called "The Game" which apparently is how to score with chicks at bars - and then he talked about how many women he's f--d over the past few months.
At this point, I was wishing that I had some Purell on me - because not only did I not want to have kids with this guy, I also didn't want to even shake his hand again.
Needless to say, I left him at the bar after only drinking 1/4 of my beer. As I was getting up from the stool, he was SHOUTING "Awww...come on. Don't leave! Don't leave!" I looked to the bartender because I was completely embarrassed and the bartender mouthed "Leave."
Here's where I know I might lose some of you. I was secretly delighted. Sure, it was creepy because the guy is clearly unstable. On the other hand, I was strangely happy that I actually had a guy beg me not to leave him. I know. It's messed up...but it was totally a scene out of a bad movie, and it happened to me! I mean, it's kind of like something off of my bucket list of things that I want to accomplish before I die.
So far my list looks like this:
1. Ride a dolphin
2. Learn to snorkel
3. Start smoking
4. Stop smoking
8. Have someone who is not looking for his Greencard ask to marry me
9. Find Manbearpig
10. Be a part of a diamond smuggling ring
I think I'm on my way.
*Yes - I'm kidding. Even the illegal aliens are wary of me.