Monday, June 29, 2009

The first rule of myspace...

Remember a couple of years ago when Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays were alive?

Well then perhaps you'll remember that around that time myspace was all the rage. I realized around that time, two very important things:
1) keeping in contact en masse via a networking site was much easier than trying to keep up with every person I wanted to, and
2) that Diet Dr. Pepper really does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper.

At any rate, I used to really enjoy myspace - in fact, it's through myspace that I started blogging. So see? You can thank "Tom" for your undoubtedly diminishing intelligence due to reading my blog. Or for the mental images like ones found here.

So since I blog here and now get my networking site fix via Facebook, I'm not on myspace anymore.


My younger sister emailed me asking me why I had sent her an email via myspace to click on a link. Now, I love my younger sister. She's one of my favorite people in the world - loving, sweet, kind, and you know, nothing like me. One of my favorite things about her is that she trusts people. She'd give you the shirt off her back if she felt like it would help you. Because of that, she's also the perfect choice for any spammers and identity theft hackers. She still forwards emails thinking that Bill Gates is giving away a million dollars and has probably thought about baking those famous Neiman Marcus cookies. So when she clicked on the email that "I" had sent her and got a virus, she was concerned. Go figure.

LONG story short (too late), it turns out that someone named Willa Redmond wants to be me so badly*, that she copied my whole myspace profile (including pictures) so that it is an exact replica of my profile. I know what you're thinking...and I felt as shocked and flattered violated as you'd be if it happened to you.

So I contacted myspace "security" and it turns out that all I need to do is to hand write some sort of sign that has my name, my myspace URL, AND my face so that they can verify that I am the original person. It's called the stupidest fake security measure a "salute." I would've posted their instructions, but they were verbose and obviously written by someone where English is their 5th language.


But you know me/Willa. I somehow want the picture to be funny. Like, should I take one where it looks like I'm in jail and it's a mugshot? Or should I use my little blogger id with my info underneath it? I don't want to do something boring...I want it to be funny. Because God forbid the people from Taiwan who are managing myspace security not think that I'm funny. Any suggestions on how/where the picture could or should be taken would be much appreciated.

It has occured to me that you're probably wondering if this post was written by Willa or me. And I guess I really don't have any way to prove that I am not Willa Redmond. So let's just say that all the awesome and funny posts are by me...and the ones that kind of suck? Yeah, they're totally written by Willa.

Hell, I could be Tyler Durden of myspace for all you know...

*Yes, I know. She doesn't really want to be me. She wants to send you links to porn sites. Which, may or may not be something that I want to do too. It's just that it feels more flattering to say that she wanted to be me than to say that my profile was the first one that was lame enough to be easily copied.


monica said...

still laughing ... um ... myspace idiot over here ... how were you able to determine precisely who was violating your page (willa)?? I want to be you too ... it's just too much work to copy your page just to send porn links ... I'm just sayin

happyfunpants said...

Monica: you can keep sending me the p0rn links just like you always have...which is to say, not at all.

Also, I found out she was Willa via some sneaky myspace snooping. I even wore all black so I could be super stealthy. Yeah, I'm covert like that.

monica said...

You are so completely super sneaky and clever ... I mean, it's no wonder Willa totally wanted to be you!! I only hope some of your coolness will wear off on me if I hang out with you :-)