I interviewed for a job last week.
I didn't get it.
I'm still stuck in this hell that seems more and more like prison every day...except for the fact that there is slightly less stealing and selling of bodies. Other than that? JUST LIKE PRISON.
The thing is, after the job interview, I was pretty sure that I didn't want the job - it was different than what they had explained it as. So I'm not upset that I didn't get the job as much as I'm upset that I still have this one.
And yes, I SHOULD be happy that I'm gainfully employed. And I am.
Only I can't believe that this is all that there is in the world for me. I don't make a difference. I have no purpose. I would be a starving artist downtown, but a) I don't do starving...have you SEEN me? and b) I don't have any "natural talent" when it comes to artistic things. Just another thing about me that is completely UNnatural.
I've had several sets of guests in town this summer. Some mine, some Joe's. I've also flown out of town to visit friends. And in the end, I'm sort of sad I live here instead of where they live.
Don't get me wrong, I have friends here. It's just...different than the friends that I have in the other places. Is it that when I visit them (or vice versa) we make the most of our time since we know we won't have much of it? Maybe.
So, to catch you up quickly:
1) I still have a job that is slowly killing me. I would say "killing me softly" but my job has nothing to do with songs. Also, I'm kind of loud and therefore there isn't a high chance of something me doing anything softly.
2) I visited my best friend this weekend and we made another quilt (this time we finished the WHOLE thing this weekend). It's WAY cool and has lots of t-shirts that I thought I had misplaced until I moved this past spring and found a Rubbermaid tub of them under the stairs. The last one was flannel - this one is not...so I have a spring and a winter quilt. I'm lucky. Only I miss her so much that I'm pretty much cuddled in it the entire time I'm at home. It's pathetic.
3) I still don't have a dog. Did I ever mention on this one that my dog died? Well, she did. June 22nd. That day can suck it. And because of where we live - in a downtown hi-rise building, we can't get a puppy. Potty training would be more of a nightmare than it already is. And I so want something else to pour my love into that I'm actually thinking of getting a cat. Someone check me into a mental hospital...I can't believe I just wrote that. I'm the person that doesn't like cats. Maybe I should get a plant?
4) I'm still running...in fact, today I signed up for my first race since the 5 miler that I ran in April. This one is just a 5K though, so it shouldn't kick my bootay TOO badly.
5) My dad still writes/talks about poop. I'm so not kidding.
6) I kindasorta wish I lived some place else.
No...not a happy fun post, but hey, at least it IS a post.
2 days ago