Tuesday, March 04, 2008

What I know is true...

You know how Oprah leads off her magazine with a section called "What I know is true..."?

Not so much? Well...that section, usually a page worth was her chance to write something inspiring - something that she has taken years to think about, talk about with her best friend Gale, and therefore something she feels like she should share with me personally. Usually they're motivating and they always tie into her monthly topic of the magazine.

Why am I writing you about this? I don't know. But you should know that this blog is NOT that kind of article. It is full, however, of two things that I have been able to reflect on and have found that they are true for me. Inspirational? No...not so much.

First, I cannot stand it when someone SAYS "knock, knock!" when I'm not facing them directly and they want my attention. Like, if I'm typing away at my keyboard and you need my attention, please say, "Excuse me" or "hey bi-atch" or ACTUALLY knock. But saying it makes me want to just scream! If the answer to the question, "Are you telling a joke?" is "No," you shouldn't say those words! This is similar to my feelings about when I am in someone's way (unknowingly) and they say, "Beep beep!" I don't hate that one as much as the "knock knock" thing, but I still don't get it...I mean, WHY can people not say "excuse me" or "look out" or "heads up" or "I'm going to cut you" or something similar? Even screaming loudly would be bettter than saying "beep beep." And know that they are not making the sound of a truck (although that isn't much better)...they are literally saying "beep beep." Ugh...I just can't stand it!

Secondly, after having our fire alarms tested for the past hour, I know that loud, repetive noises that literally make my ears buzz somehow make me more inclined to inflict bodily damage on someone else. I think I may have been pre-programmed where those types of loud, ear piercing sounds, make me switch from a normally happy person into a person who is in a fight or flight mode (or, after thinking about it, just fight mode). In fact, I think that if I did hurt someone, I should be allowed to get off without serving jail time because seriously, have you *heard* fire alarms for a long period of time? And no, I could not go outside...we had to "work" through it.

I'm just saying, if I had a spork handy during the past hour and someone "knock knock"-ed at my cube...well...it wouldnt' be pretty.

4 comments:

McG said...

I'm sorry.... I'm ROTFLMAO so hard that I'm crying. Just because... I know those things to be true. especially the alarm testing one. Love ya!

Mark and Joella said...

You make me laugh :) I completely agree with the "knock knock" thing. There is someone at my work that will walk up to someone when he has a question for them, say "question" and then proceed with his question. Seriously, why can't he just ask the stupid question...why must he preface it with the "question" thing. It drives me nutty! I swear, with the hormones raging, I might go postal on him next time! :)

Jon76 said...

That "question" thing...TOTAL Mike Raska trademark. EVERYTHING that boy said always started with "question". JUST ASK IT!

French, please, Mr. Toast

happyfunpants said...

Ooooh...I used to that question thing ALL the time too. I don't know why, but I couldn't NOT say that. Hmmm...I may take a moment to reflect on my bad habits and the guilt that I might feel knowing that I might make others want to slap my forehead...

Naaah.