Sunday, March 23, 2008

The crazy cat lady = me?


Here's the thing. I'm picky when it comes to dating. I like to think of it as decisive, but it's probably just being picky.

I've dated someone long term (3 months or longer) only 6 times in my life. Yikes! That is sad. But I think the reason of why that is is because I know rather quickly that it's either going to work or it just isn't. I could recount the gory details of all of my bad dates, but honestly, most of you know about them anyway, so it would just be re-reading stuff you already read on myspace. For those that don't, the worst two first dates with guys ended with two different questions. One was "So are we going to make out, or what?" and the other was "Let me guess...double D's - am I right?" Surprisingly, neither one of these guys were the ones I dated for over 3 months! :)

Remember this post? Yeah, well, let's just say the results of the blind date were less than pleasant. Gerry (as I found out he spells his name) was kind of cute...but told me within the first 15 minutes of our date that he knew how to get his hands on 1 million dollars and bragged about all of the properties around my house that he fixed and then flipped. He was shorter than me, looked significantly older than me, and helped me realize that my friends Mel and Chad have no clue who I am. :) We had small talk for about 15 minutes, and after that proceeded to argue about politics for the next two hours. Our argument used to be full of things that actually had good points to them, but ended almost with us just talking over each other. Now, I love me a good debate, but this was a bit over the top. We were arguing so much that the people at the tables on either side of us also started arguing. At the end of the date, he asked me two questions, "So if I call, are you going to answer the phone?" To which I answered, "probably not." Then he asked, "If we go out again, are you going to be nicer?" I thought about it for a couple of seconds and then I simply answered, "No." Now I can say that I wasn't MEAN on the date, but because I didn't really care how it ended, I wasn't trying to impress him. Because he seems like someone that is constantly trying to impress others, I think this excited him. It took 2 weeks for him to stop calling.

The next set up I had was with Sarah's cousin. She tried to get us in the same place several different nights, but the night before the Superbowl is when we finally met. And he DID seem like a nice guy...but the chemistry just wasn't there.

I'm sure you all have heard that old saying that guys are like parking spaces? Well, I'd like to think that that is not true...unfortunately, I don't have anything to back my idea up. I met with a friend of mine today who encouraged me to try online dating. Yeah, well, I went to at her place. We set up my profile (I'll probably post it on here for a good laugh for you guys) and started looking at guys. But UGH it seemed like SO MUCH WORK! I know...from what you all told me marriage is work. But really? I don't want to try to weed through 200 guys, figure out which ones want to communicate, and then meet them in person only to find out that there is NO love connection. It just seems like a lot of wasted time, a lot of unreal expectations, a roller-coaster of emotions, and ultimately a huge let down. The worst is that look that is on someone else's face when you can tell that they just don't get you.


I'm not a big fan of that look. Unfortunately, I get it often. :)

But I know that there doesn't seem to be another option either. I feel like I need to get out - I need to try new things, need to meet other people. I have come to realize that a sense of humor is probably the thing that I find attractive over all else. I mean, there has to be other things...several other things, but I really just want to laugh a lot. I figure life is tough enough - you might as well have someone to help you laugh through it.

Maybe me being completely exhausted by the thought of going through all those profiles was a tip that I'm just not ready yet. The guy from Reno was so delightfully funny and fantastic that that is what I want to have...well, something like that. You know - something so unexpectedly fun where you connect on multiple levels - best of all, on that basic undeniably pure level. I want someone like him... only single. :) The good news is that now that I know that someone like that *can* exist, I'm happy.

I just don't want to live my life waiting... because then I *will* be that lady that lives in the house on the corner with 85 million cats. And I'm mildly allergic to really 85 million may just kill me. Plus, the ASPCA will constantly be at my door, trying to get me to give some of them away. I'll be that crazy lady in a stained wife beater (without a bra on) trying to set humane traps for my cats on a reality TV show on Animal Planet.

I think that's why I feel so in limbo (no, not the stuff about the cats...the other stuff!).

I don't really have a career to speak of, I'm trying not to get attached to anything here because I'm hoping to move, and I'm not really even interested in dating anyone because now that I know that somebody awesome could be out there I don't want to waste my time with the duds.

If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.


Marc said...

I don't get it. What's wrong with the guy who asked about the double D's? Chicks are weird.

McG said...

OK! Comment above.... Totally funny. I mean, you can only imagine the kind of questions dudes who dig on dudes ask each other, completely unabashed!

Second of all.... I have the PERFECT suggestion.Why don't you join some local comedy troupe/improv organization. You are hilarious, love slapstick comedy and are a riot. You would be AWESOME at it and not only that, guys there would be less likely to give the "I don't get you face..."

just a thought.