Friday, October 30, 2009

Want to lose your appetite? Read this post.

First of all, consider this line as a warning: you will be grossed out in reading this post. So if you're eating, do yourself a favor and just stop. Stop reading or stop eating. Although I know I'm not a doctor, but pretty sure that you probably shouldn't be doing both.

Okay, then.

To lay the groundwork, you should probably know that my work place is full of complete idiots. It's full of people that ACT like idiots, but I also believe that if you tested our IQ, we wouldn't exactly score highly.

So one of the guys from "The Perilous Puddin' Pig Out" (that has yet to occur) accepted a dare today.

The dare? Eat two fully loaded Qdoba burritos. Fully loaded meant that the burrito had to contain beans, rice, a protein, a salsa, cheese, lettuce, and some sort of liquid-ish topping (queso, sour cream, or guacamole).

One burrito was 1.48 pounds and the other was 1.5 pounds. And he finished both in 28 minutes.

So, I encourage you to think about that. Just think about all of that food filling up your stomach. And think about that the food was THREE POUNDS AND that the sheer volume of the food is pretty substantial.

Just the thought of that has me nauseous.

So the rest of us (the spectators, if you will) started questioning which would be harder to do - eat three pounds of food or drink three pounds of liquid.

So, because we were all having a SCIENCE based discussion, he opted to drink 30 ounces of water too.

The result? He gained 5 AND A HALF POUNDS in 32 minutes.

So think about that. Can you imagine how full he is right about now? Like, if he leaned down to tie his shoes, you KNOW he'd be urping up something.

The worst part is that halfway through his second burrito, he paused, and spit something out into a napkin. Then he calmly walked over to the trash can and threw the napkin away.

When questioned what he did, he said, "Um, I'm pretty sure that was a fingernail."

But remember, I said that he ate two whole burritos. So this means that he found a human fingernail in the burrito AND THEN HE FINISHED IT ANYWAY.

I'll be having nightmares tonight, I'm sure.

And lemme''ve lost your appetite, no?


Mark and Joella said...

thanks...I don't think I will be eating anything else today :)

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA I don't what is more awesome, the fact that you guys weighed him after eating/drinking or that he gained all that weight or that there was a finga-nail in his burrito. LOL, I want to work with you guys!