Tuesday, July 07, 2009

I don't want to be France

I was having an interesting discussion last night about past relationships and how I, apparently, have some issues with past relationships. Shocking. I know. I'm not going to beat myself up about this, because I think that that is pretty normal for someone who is 32. Everyone has baggage... and I think that the healthy thing to do is to try to shed as much of that as you can. To get rid of it completely, is impractical.

So, this person that I was talking to about this is a history buff. You should probably know now, that I am, most assuredly, not a history buff. I was much more interested in daydreaming about Vanilla Ice to pay attention in history. Besides, if it repeats itself like everyone says, why can't I just catch up when it actually happens again?

Since you may not be as up on history as he is, I'll give you the same short lesson he gave me. Apparently, France had gone through World War I and it sucked. So when WWII came around, they planned for and strategized for a war just like the first one. They analyzed each battle and tried not to repeat the same mistakes. For instance, they didn't dump the tea in the harbor, Paul Revere didn't light any lanterns, and they didn't pick officers like Colonel Mustard to be in charge again. Remember, this is before the time that the slaves were freed. What happened (as I'm sure you can tell) is that by preparing to fight a war in the past, they were completely unprepared for the challenges of a new war. And that made them pansies. Which, as you know, is how french toast came to be called FRENCH toast.

At least, I *think* that's how the story goes. I was too busy trying to remember what comes after "Stop, collaborate and LISTEN. Ice is back with a brand new invention..."

Anyway, the lesson that I've learned from our conversation is that if I approach new relationships prepared to face the same battle, I lose out on all the stuff I really *should* be fighting about in the new relationship. You know, like taking out the trash, and which set of in-laws we have to suffer through get to spend Christmas with.

To be honest, I thought that I had shed a lot of the baggage I had about a certain subject. I thought that I had approached new relationships wary of the same thing happening, but that that was to be expected. Instead, I realized that I was like France. I've spent time gearing up to fight the same, painful battles that I had before. By being so careful that I would never be hurt in the same way, I'm missing out on some of the fun and joy that is the single life.

I realized that I don't want to be France. And that perhaps taking things as they come (versus trying to plan ahead for every possible obstacle) may be the best way to do things.

See? History - it's growing on me.

1 comment:

turleybenson said...

Anne. Can we maybe talk offline about a certain little type of...I don't want to call it therapy, but really, therapy I did recently for this very issue (though more related to friend relationships) that kinda sorta really helped me? Ping me if you want to hear about it.

And you're welcome for you know what.