New math rules...

So Sunday I went out to go get a gift card for a friend who has a birthday coming up. I really did just go in the retail store JUST for the gift card.

Umm...I came out with a bit more than the gift card. Here's the thing. They had a sale where almost every item in the store was at least 40% off. Some items were WAY more than 40% off.

I decided to heap my arms full of clothes to try on in the dressing rooms. That's when I heard that the songs they were playing were making me want to slit my wrists.

No really.

Like the lyrics to one song were something like:
"I miss you so much.
You're the only thing that
ever gave me a reason to live.
Without you I'll probably trip
over my shoes that I left near
the stairs, fall down, and lay there
paralyzed because I don't live with anyone anymore.
I didn't order the Med-Alert necklace
either...so I'll likely stay here and rot."

I think some titles were "Me and My Cat (We Only Need Each Other)" and "Yes, I'm at the Grocery Store Buying Single Serving Items - It's Because He Left Me." Okay...maybe not, but I remembered thinking that "All By Myself" was going to come on at any moment.

Luckily, I was out of the dressing rooms quickly. I bought a nice shirt that was $4.99 - regularly over $40. Like, the bras I get (which yes, are big enough to parachute with) were on sale for $9.99. Each bra must have to cost the little Malaysian people like $15.00 to make - for fabric and the fact that it must take days to build those things... plus there is the freight...and yes - for just one bra. Haha make all the jokes you want about 'em - I've heard them all. And note, I am not saying you should make jokes. Because when you're sleeping, I CAN SMOTHER YOU.

Seriously. It's almost like it's a crime NOT to buy it. When you factor in that they had already spent more than that on advertising, workers salaries, and those little theft deterrants, they're practically giving them away. Which means they're free. And who wouldn't want FREE things? See? Math IS easy and fun.