Thursday, April 09, 2009

I think you might be more bummed about this than I am…

Remember that REM song., “The End of The World (And I Feel Fine)”? Don’t worry, this isn’t another story about being felt up at church. It just popped into my head this morning and I had SUCH peace because I knew how much it reminded me of my need to end the dating relationship with G.

Long story short, this is a mutual decision and one that I feel fantastic about.

You know that stupid email that goes around about how there are friends that come into your life for a season, some that come into your life for your lifetime, blah blah blah? Well, I think relationships are like that too…except for without all the glittery animation attachments.

My 2 ½ month long relationship with G has been pretty great. It was nice to be with someone (for a change) who wanted to rip off my clothes and have his way with me, especially as my new, healthier body is emerging. It was nice to be with someone who understood that the little things ARE important. And it was fantastic to be with someone who knew me and challenged me. He challenged me to get over my fear of dating, he made me aware of times when (mostly due to being scared) I push people away, and he helped me realize that my voice IS important. Sure, he didn’t think that I was especially funny (which, quite honestly, was heartbreaking at times) – and we didn’t have many commonalities in tastes of food, music, TV shows, activities, or movies. Because we were supportive of each other’s differences, I tried to tell myself that that stuff doesn’t matter. Only it does. HE LIKES NICKLEBACK FOR GOD’S SAKE!

The biggest challenge is that he’s so enmeshed in his ex’s life, I mean she STILL doesn’t even know that we were dating. They still talk daily and she leans on him for significant support even though they’re divorced. Red flag raised? Why, yes…yes, it was. But without getting into it more than necessary, he has his reasons. To me it seemed like a huge hurdle I couldn’t get over. More importantly, he doesn’t know if he ever wants to get married or have kids again. He wants to adjust to being single, he wants to concentrate on his job and being a great dad. And I so get that. That’s healthy for where he is in his life right now.

But I’m in a different place. I want to be married. I want to have kids. And that’s also healthy for my life right now. I want to move on with my life.

So I am.

“The talk” is happening tonight but we’ve already had a conversation today about how we both know that this is the right thing to do. We are on the exact same page – and that, like the rest of the relationship we’ve shared, feels great.

Yup – it’s the end of the relationship as we know it…and I feel fine.


Rebecca Jo said...

As long as you feel fine... then we should all be happy for you!

Onto new things in life!!!

Slackey said...

I'm happy that you realized the relationship wasn't working, and it sounds like you're doing great.

Does this mean creepy back guy has a shot? :P

Patty said...

Awww too bad. But I agree with Rebecca Jo...if it feels fine for you then it's the right thing to do.

rich said...

What? He didn't think you were funny? That's the deal breaker - you're freaking hilarious. I'd date you but I don't think Ginger would approve. And about the hair thing, as a member of the short hair - long hair - short hair - long hair club I can attest that I get a lot more in the shower drain when it's long. Of course I might have just been pregnant.

kristi said...

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like you're doing great, so here's to bigger and better things! Maybe you should consider that online dating guy in the Guantanamo Bay photo... that was seriously HILARIOUS!!

SuperDave said...

2 1/2 months! Rip off clothes - LOL!!
Glad you are moving to the next phase of your relationship.
Don't move too quick unless he is the "right" one. I don't care if the clock is ticking or not. Marriage is made for a lifetime and don't believe the bullshit like," I'll just get rid of him/her if they becomes an ass!" Too much divorce in the world - one marriage for life!
That said - I'm happy for you.

SuperDave said...

Damn, see - I screwed up again!!!
You just kicked G to the curb..
So much for the next phase.
Forget what I said, "Glad you are moving to the next phase of your relationship."
I'm stupid then again you know that. I'm a man...

Amy said...

Oh that is sad. But you are fine. You want to be with someone who has the same feelings as you do.

McG said...

You know, sometimes that physical validation is just good enough for what it is. It's hard to realize when it's times to move on, when it really is "them" and not "you."