Long story short, this is a mutual decision and one that I feel fantastic about.
You know that
My 2 ½ month long relationship with G has been pretty great. It was nice to be with someone (for a change) who wanted to rip off my clothes and have his way with me, especially as my new, healthier body is emerging. It was nice to be with someone who understood that the little things ARE important. And it was fantastic to be with someone who knew me and challenged me. He challenged me to get over my fear of dating, he made me aware of times when (mostly due to being scared) I push people away, and he helped me realize that my voice IS important. Sure, he didn’t think that I was especially funny (which, quite honestly, was heartbreaking at times) – and we didn’t have many commonalities in tastes of food, music, TV shows, activities, or movies. Because we were supportive of each other’s differences, I tried to tell myself that that stuff doesn’t matter. Only it does. HE LIKES NICKLEBACK FOR GOD’S SAKE!
The biggest challenge is that he’s so enmeshed in his ex’s life, I mean she STILL doesn’t even know that we were dating. They still talk daily and she leans on him for significant support even though they’re divorced. Red flag raised? Why, yes…yes, it was. But without getting into it more than necessary, he has his reasons. To me it seemed like a huge hurdle I couldn’t get over. More importantly, he doesn’t know if he ever wants to get married or have kids again. He wants to adjust to being single, he wants to concentrate on his job and being a great dad. And I so get that. That’s healthy for where he is in his life right now.
But I’m in a different place. I want to be married. I want to have kids. And that’s also healthy for my life right now. I want to move on with my life.
So I am.
“The talk” is happening tonight but we’ve already had a conversation today about how we both know that this is the right thing to do. We are on the exact same page – and that, like the rest of the relationship we’ve shared, feels great.
Yup – it’s the end of the relationship as we know it…and I feel fine.