Monday, September 22, 2008

Conversation from a birthday dinner party on Saturday night

Me (to the lady sitting to the right of me): Hi. I don't think I've met you. My name is Anne.

Her: Hi. My name is Deena. But I think we have met.

Me (awkwardly): Oh. Are you sure? Well, I'm sorry. I'm so forgetful (ed note: I am not). Then it's nice to meet you again.

Her: Well, maybe we didn't meet.

Me: Um...okay.

Her: Maybe I just think we met because you have such a common face.

Me: Ow. You do know that I'm sitting right here, right?

Her: Oh, sorry. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's not that you're ugly per se, just a face that probably everyone thinks they've seen.

Me (trying to turn the conversation to on the left side of me) : Um...okay then.

Her: Sorry, I think this keeps coming out wrong. It's just that your face looks like so many others. There's nothing distinguishable about it. So it's easy for me to think that I've seen it before.

Me: Wow. You do know that you're saying things out loud and that I can hear them, right?

Her: Well, you could act! You look like you would be great as an extra in a movie. You know, as a role of someone not important. Yes, you look like you're not important to someone's role in life.

Me: I don't know how else to say this. You're being rude. I'm not going to talk to you anymore.

Her: Wait! What'd I say wrong? It's not like I said you were that ugly sidekick that every movie has. I mean, you do have the red hair so you could be that side kick. Not that I think red hair is ugly. I would never pick it, but it's nice for people like you.

Me (to the guy across from me): Is she still talking? Do you want to switch seats with me?

Guy (to her): Um...you should probably just stop now.

Her: Oh. Okay then. Well, it was nice to meet you.

7 comments:

Jon Hey said...

Please TELL ME that was a joke? What an idiot!

monica said...

Okay, seriously?!?!? Was the booze flowing heavily?? Did your new acquaintance recently have a lobotomy?? What the HELL is wrong with people?? Although, I gotta tell you, I was crackin up by the time I got to the bottom ... and I commend you on your patience in not smacking her super dumb self!!

turleybenson said...

woooooooow.

happyfunpants said...

Yeah. Nice 'eh? Sadly, this was not a joke - she really did say all those things...the part about me being an extra was split up into two different comments, but I was getting tired of typing "Her:" and "Me:".

And Monica? That was when we were sitting down - no drinks flowing yet.

But, on an upside, I did get to have the Cobb Salad at the Cheesecake Factory...which just may be my favorite thing ever.

Ginger said...

OK. First of all, this woman is a complete ass hat. Secondly, she's wrong (in so many ways), and thirdly, this sounds like something that would happen to me, only instead of saying she's rude, I would probably agree and then harber bad feelings about myself for the rest of the night..week...milineum because I'm weak like that. You are awesome for standing up for yourself!

And, I have to admit, I was nervously laughing waiting for a punchline that never showed up! People are idiots!

McG said...

OMG. I would have grabbed her head, slammed it on the table a few times and then say:

"I bet you'll remember this face the next time you see it. Bitch"

Lyn said...

bahahaha!!!! mcg I do NOT want to meet you in a dark alley!!

but seriously, all of that commentary about *your face* was sooooo uncalled for!!! wth is wrong with people??