Sunday, September 14, 2008

My slumps, my lovely lady slumps...

I'm in a I needed a blog that wasn't quite so pretty, quite so bright, and quite so summery.

I'm okay - really I am. And despite my written spewage to Ginger yesterday, I've got a plan to get myself out of the slump. The plan: figure out my poop.

Not my literal poop. But my mental poop. Like wanting to date guys and then me being completely freaked out when someone shows interest. Me not wanting to move from Denver but being unhappy with where I'm at. Me not wanting to make plans for anything long term for fear that I will move...and instead finding myself in a holding pattern.

Oh, and there's the small subject of a certain someone. A person who does not read this site anymore, a person who I miss very much but can't really talk about for the fear of what that makes me as a person. I know, I'm being cryptic. I know, it's probably irritating. Just suffice it to say that out of all the things I don't even know if I want (including what to have for lunch), this is the one thing I know I do want.

This post didn't intend to be this dark...but rather to introduce my new dark design. But I guess I felt I owed you some insight into my life.


Jen said...

I am so proud of you!! Sorry to hear you in a slump! Hope things become clear and you get your "poop" all figured out!!

the girls' moma said...

I love you, I love you, I love you. I hear your heart and I ache to give you a giant hug. You are brave and strong and funny and it's OK to want things. It truly is.

Some decisions might make you feel like you're in less of a holding pattern, but the stress of making them -- ?

I get it. And I want you to know that you're not alone.

kristi said...

Amen to that sister! I know how you feel... especially about the holding pattern. I am sometimes reluctant to sign up for stuff or make long term plans, or even become closer friends with people, because I am worried that I am going to have to break everything off and say goodbye when (and if) I decide to move. I hate that feeling! I hope you get over your poop soon. And, I LOVE your new site!