I'm scared of yogurt

You might be thinking that it's the lactobacillus acidophilus, but you'd be wrong.

It's that when I go to open the individual packages of yogurt, my container always urps on me. You know... it like barfs a little. Plus it makes the sound of farting.

So basically, my yogurt is rude.

You'd think that with all of our technology advancements that we've made, there would've been a better way to package yogurt already - without all the farting and urping. OR that they'd come with instructions on how to NOT have that happen. But no. It's like prison, I tell you.

In fact, I think that this is a clear representation of how "the man" is trying to keep us down.

I would rebel, but to be honest, I enjoy my yogurt too much to take such a strong stance. So the only hope I have of not being urped on is to open it away from my body. This means that I either spray co-workers with yogurt splatter or (as is usually the case when I have a snack at my desk), I spray my screen with it.

And I don't have to tell you that white goop on a screen looks bad. Especially at work.


I still don't eat Yoplait though because their commercials still make me want to scream so I don't have to hear the annoying "banter."