Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
If you ever have the chance to meet him, he's the one saying funny things under his breath - the one next to the hot blonde who is laughing at said jokes.
Oh, and Matt? I'm going to need you to have your birthday on a girl's dinner night next year too. If it doesn't fall on that day, I can't be held accountable for remembering it. :)
I love his voice and because my parents used to listen to him, it reminds me of simpler times.
Anyway, I was sitting here typing an email and "Hard Headed Woman" came on.
Cat - too bad you're too old for me.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sure, I moved in 7 months ago, but sometimes it takes a little while to figure out just the right place.
The print above was the first thing I hung up in my place - 1001 Nights by Henri Matisse.
I love Matisse's work - in my opinion, it's absolutely beautiful.
I have my eye on a couple more prints of his that I hope to own someday.
My boss is kind of a stickler for being on time - especially on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday - which are our meeting days. So on those days, I'm usually screeching into the parking lot about a minute until the time I'm supposed to be inside. I don't look at it like I'm running late, I look at it like I'm being efficient.
At any rate, I hopped out of my car and started walking quickly to the passenger side to get the rest of my stuff. As I was walking around the car, a guy in a lawn maintenence truck shouted "HEY!" I turned and he shouted (from inside his truck) "Can I have your number?" And I was shocked. Because you should see what I look like on Monday mornings. I sort of look like the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons.
Anyway, he shouted out, "I want your number. Are you married?" And because I can't lie very well (even to a random guy in a truck), I said no. So he asked me again for my number, and I said, "no thanks!" like he was offering me a donut or help with my bags or something.
But really, I'm flattered. Sure it's a random guy in a truck, but out of these women at our office he picked ME.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
He totally should have won "The Next Food Network Star." I like the guy that did win - he's nice in an awkward way. But Adam has been my favorite since the beginning and have loved his humor (excepting the tripping thing on the ship - that was not a good idea).
Anyway, he is funny AND has great recipes involving beer AND chicken. I like beer, funny guys, and chicken! So I'm at a loss as to why he lost.
He's definitely the best thing about Pennsylvania.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Thanks guys - for making my time on earth easier.
If those of you not from Denver ever visit, you will want to meet them and kidnap them for your very own friends. To this I say: hands off, people. I will share them with you, but you can't have them.
If that even starts to happen, I will fight for them. It'll be that girly slapping hands fighting thing, but I'll do it.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Apparently, he wanted to see the 11:30 PM showing of the new Batman movie so badly that even his 2 year old kid's presence was not enough to stop him from it.
He left his kid IN THE CAR to go see the movie. About 2 AM, the firefighters finally sprung the hysterical kid from the car...and then went inside to go have the dad arrested. 10 minutes before the end.
I have to say that what he did was horrible.
But I do think that's some form of justice that he didn't even get to see the last 10 minutes of the movie...
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Dealing with one of our new inside sales people is giving me thoughts of asking my boss for the rest of the day off work, driving to a gun store, filling out whatever paperwork is required for a gun, waiting three days, and then shooting myself.
Oh, and my name is NOT Ann Kennedy!
For Chissakes! Get to know my name before asking me for help. If you don't know it, then just type/say something vague. It always works for me when I can't remember people's names. OR you can use one of the following things I respond to: Fun Pants, Tex, Red, A, Hey you, Lady, GAH! You again!, Honey, Pickles, Hey hey! and any general groaning noise.
Anyway, I purchased a super cute one from Whole Foods. I immediately began using it and have possibly quadrupled my water intake. I love drinking out of this thing. I would post a picture of it, but after going through 8, 342 image pages I still can't find the dang thing. It's cute. And it's made usuing eco-friendly sources/processes. I feel good drinking from it - and it's not just the water intake.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The car ride took 2 1/2 hours to get to the park - which is pretty amazing seeing as how I live 20 minutes away. We decided about one hour in to play 20 questions. Who says you can't have fun without a DVD player in the car?
Beacuse of this, we missed Rodrigo y Gabriela - a sad fact that will likely leave me feeling unfulfilled on my deathbed. BUT we opted to stay there instead of going home for a nap.
We got to see the Flobots - a Denver band that is starting to make it big. Not my favorite band by any means, but I think that they had a lot of energy and it was a great starter to the festival. :)
Long story short my mom ended up buying us beers. :) That's really the best gift a mom CAN give their kids (please take note Ginger, Joella, and Mrssa - you can never start too young!). If you listen closely, you might be able to hear the girl behind us sing a verse of "Hakuna Matata" and then promptly fall into a trash can.
Finally we got to where the DMB concert would be held. We had to grope, grab and make deals but we got a GREAT standing area - one that was where we were surrounded by people. And just to prove that we do not take all of our pictures at an arms length pointed back at us, here are some pictures.
We had a great time. :) If the pictures look blurry to you, it's because you inhaled. I'm not sure since these were taken with Elizabeth's camera but I think the camera was high too. Seriously, I think everyone around us was high, including the 6 year old that was asleep on the ground in front of us. At one point, Dave even sniffed the air, commented on it, and laughed.
The best thing about the concert was that the band was clearly having a great time. And who wouldn't love to play for a fantastic huge crowd with me and E in it?
We came back home, slept for three hours and then got up to go to the airport and work.
Which meant that when I got home yesterday, I slept very well. :)
My point is, after a great weekend like this, I miss my little sister. :)
And Chassis is missing her cuddle buddy. :)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I'm not sure how many danes and people were there, but I do know that we raised $5000 for a great cause. And someone got a little bid happy at the silent auction...so let's just say that wine is my new best friend.
The best thing about the picnic was that there were two 17 year olds who were DJing our event. They played such great hits as "Motown Philly" by Boys to Men, "Mambo #5" by Lou Vega, "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Lepard, "Cotton Eyed Joe" by that band, and other crappy music. They weren't a huge hit of the picnic and I was amazed at the poor selection of music.
Until I figured out that since their music stopped at circa 1999, they didn't play any Nickleback.
And that, my friends, was fantastic.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Today we're going to a local Great Dane Rescue's picnic. It's an annual picnic that is open to any people who volunteer or those that have adopted from the rescue. We are also allowed to bring our dogs. Current RSVP list shows about 150 people and 100 Great Danes. In one park. That other patrons of the park are currently unaware of. I'm sure they'll get the hint when they see over 1,500 pounds of dog enter the park. :)
It's supposed to be 100 today so we're planning on arriving late. This is due to my dog having a severe intolerance for heat. Since she is a big picky dog, she will NOT drink from water that other dogs already have drank out of. They have HUGE barrels that the dogs can drink out of with like 3" of slobber floating on the top. So I get it. I wouldn't want that either. But since she's such a dark colored dog she just roasts in the heat.
Actually, this is a great representation of how dogs may be like their owners. She probably developed such an intolerance because I would rather have someone make me listen to Nickleback songs repeatedly than roast outside in the sun.
Should be interesting.
Tomorrow we're going to the Mile High Music Festival to see Dave Matthews and his band. :) We're also going to see a bunch of other artists (including Rodrigo y Gabriela) - taking a break halfway through to come home and take a nap. The DMB set doesn't end until 11:15 and then we still have to drive home. Should be around 1 AM by the time we get home. Perfect for us waking up in enough time to be leaving for the airport at 6:15 AM.
Monday I plan on being hungover and tired.
It's good to have goals. :)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
And I can't help wondering if "The Story" is the story of how I will always feel...or if it's just a stage I'm going through.
I keep reminding myself that this, too, shall pass.
For those interested in listening to it, you can see the video and hear the song here.
It looks like this:
So today I *had* to print an email for a file that I had made. The first page came out fine but all that was on the second page was that logo.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
He stood me up...texting four hours after the date should've started that he got called into work. For various reasons, I don't think this was true.
I decided to write him off - but this is when Larry the co-worker told me 15 thousand reasons why this guy could be genuine and his apology be accepted. So I, being the ever gracious person I so naturally am, accepted.
We were to go out again after he got off work and the conversation went like this:
Happy Fun Pants: Hey
HFP: So - are we going to go out tonight?
C: Um...well, I just got off work and I'm so tired.
HFP: Oh. So it's 7:30 now...what time did you go in?
HFP: Right. Um. Yeah. Okay - so we're not going to get together?
C: What if we got together next Wednesday afternoon?
HFP: Um...no. I work on Wednesday afternoons. I have to be honest, if we're not going out tonight, I'm not really interested in meeting you.
C: Uh - that sounds like an ultimatum. And I don't like those. That's not how I ROLL.
HFP: Right. Well, I'm not really giving you and ultimatum...I'm just letting you know how it is.
HFP: (after prolonged silence) You still there?
C: Yeah. How 'bout I call you later tonight - like 10 or 11?
HFP: Uh...I'll probably be tired around then.
C: GAH! (said like Napoleon Dynamite) I just need to REST for a MINUTE. I'll call you later. And then if you're not doing anything we can hang. Oh, and I don't like to drink - that's not really my bag. So I don't want to go to a bar or restaurant. So how 'bout I come over there?
HFP: Um...no, you're not coming over here.
C: Okay, then I'll just call you after I get done resting and we can decide then.
So I got on my phone and hung out with my pals, the Storys. They were much more fun.
He did call later - and I told him that I didn't think it would work. I wished him a good night and he hung up on me.
Here is email #1 from him (two days later):
"just letting you know i'm sorry saturday didn't work out
it sounds like you don't really ever want to hear from me again
and i think that's complete crap
ultimatums are a huge turnoff, as is your lack of patience and understanding
i'm still up for getting together, someday
i still find you quite charming
though if you're going to be mean, don't bother"
I did find it touching that I'm still charming - even though I'm not understanding or patient. And my favorite is that he ended with an ultimatum.
Email #2 (the next day):
"i really wish you'd give me another chance. i wish you'd meet me halfway. you should take care to remember that one's feelings and thoughts on a certain matter aren't always the way things are.
i see two ego's hurt pissed off at each other. i forgive you, perfectly.
are you the zen one, or am i?
if you're the egoist if you're the rigid impatient nonunderstanding one, then i gladly give you back to the cosmos.
if i'm the egoist if i'm the rigid impatient nonunderstanding one, then i've a lot of work to do.
"fuck you, you're no bloody saint"
i think this is a statement we both can agree with.
you ought to learn to take people as they are, not as you think they should be. me, i'm perfectly flawed, i hurt lots of feelings, i get hurt lots too. but sometimes when i get hurt, i simply say 'i give this, to the cosmos' and it's as if it passes right through me. holding onto negative feelings, will get you nowhere in life.
"fuck you, you're no bloody saint"
write back assuming i haven't completely angered and offended you"
My email back:
Sounds like you've got a lot of work to do. I'll leave you to it.
NO - Just kidding. I actually wrote him back stating that I don't think that there IS a halfway and that I wished him luck. To state anything else seemed like a really bad idea. I mean, he doesn't know where I live, what my last name is, what my real email is, or even that I don't like beans.
Then again, he does have the power of the cosmos on his side...
The end result? Me saying, "you're no bloody saint" and "Gah! I just need to REST for a MINUTE!" to anyone that has heard this story. They haven't quite replaced "it's like prison" as a favored remark, but they're getting up there. :)
That's it. No other jokes. No "Dwitghtel, Dwitghtel, Dwitghtel I made it out of clay"...just wanted to let you know that that is a name.
I want to call him to see if he's 80, or a Junior; if he's single and if his calculator watch is functioning as it should.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
So, now you can read my blog without the restrictions of signing in for it....and if you think it's funny you can link to it or get all of your friends reading it too! In fact, you can print off my posts and give them to a family member at Christmas, Kwanzaa, or Labor Day. It's what all the cool kids are doing!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I apologize for not filling you in on my dating life. This is mainly due to two reasons:
1) there has not been a dating life of mine to speak of, and
2) prospective dating partners have gotten creepy.
Do you remember this post? 'Member when I said that it was a nice first date - a nice way to get back into the dating world? I lied...err...reported it too soon. He soon showed his true colors by becoming an increasingly insecure person and cried himself to sleep because an email I wrote was too short (and therefore meant that I hated him and his cat). Alas, there is more to the story, but I am not kidding. And just for those that are wondering, yes - it was that quick of a flip with that little warning.
Because of these kind of stories, Larry the co-worker, has decided to start letting me know that it is my fault and I am sabotaging dates. He claims that no one can have as many bad dates as I do. Yeah, well...if you're like Larry then you don't know me well. I'm the person who has bad luck in just about anything - cars, refrigerators, and TVs to name a few.
Anyway, I have found that on the internet there are a surprisingly large number of people who write "must love dogs" in their profile. First, that was a BAD movie and I love John Cusak. That's like me referencing "Hercules" or "Glitter." Second, how much do I have to love dogs? Like do they have to sleep with us? Do I have to promise to dress them up? Do we allow them to lick us on the mouth? If the answer is "yes" to any of these questions, I say no to you.
And just so you know, there have been several guys who I have found quite charming...they just don't seem to think the same about me.
For those who are poo-pooing on my dating style, please know that I get that you care, that you think I'm great, and that you want me to happy BUT that I don't want to hear it! I'm surprised by the people who say "Oh come on! You can do so much better!" All evidence to the contrary! Do you have a guy that you can set me up with? No? Well, neither does anyone else. And me standing on the corner of Colfax and ANY STREET
Since I'm still on my soapbox, if I have to hear another person say "it happens when you're not looking" I will die, wait to be buried, decompose slightly, and then come back as a ghost to haunt you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Because while that might've worked for you, it does not work for all people. That is advice from people who are married (either happily or unhappily). They are the same people that start their sentences with "You know what you should do..." They dispense advice on weddings, birth plans, names for babies, putting your baby on schedule, spanking, etc. They're probably vegan too just so they can tell you about the perils of meat.
Here's my disclaimer and clarification. Please read it so I'll never have to write it again. I am happy with my life. Really. I recognize that there are all sorts of great people who do not ever get married. I have allowed the possibility that I may be one of those people to enter my brain. I've even become friends with that idea. But I also think that that doesn't release me from the desire to want to have a great relationship with another person. And since I've never been someone who sits back and allows things to simply happen to me, it's no surprise that I'm opening a few doors to increase the possibilty of that happening. At the very least, at least that'll be one less Saturday night spent alone eating a pint of ice cream watching "Beaches." And no, I'm not kidding.
Yikes, I read back over this and I think someone has let her tooth pain get to her.
Okay, this is where I'll sheepishly back away from my soap box.
Just know that I write about the dates and prospective dates to get a laugh. SOME things are exaggerated in the hopes to make you laugh. I write this so that when I'm complaining about my dating life you don't post something like "I told you so" or "Well, you're the one who didn't want to eat ice cream by herself." Note: "Beaches" is best watched by yourself. That way the hiccuping, sobbing, and copious fluids pouring out of your face don't take away from the beauty of "Wind Beneath My Wings."
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Here's what happened:
I started to get foggy, my reaction to picking the right word was..................slow.
I almost got fake karate-chopped and kicked in the face by a co-worker (no, I'm not kidding - but it was funny).
Then I realized I was HIGH as a kite. Ooooh! It was fun!
Then like 15 minutes later I realized I was so not doing well. It was as if I was in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" where things SEEM like they're going well and then you get in the boat in the tunnel and Charlie starts singing that uber weird song.
Things started to get creepy and I started to get dizzy, sleepy, and nauseous at the same time.
After tossing my cookies and fighting the strong desire to fall asleep on our bathroom floor, I opted to go home. I pretty much passed out as soon as I got home. Seriously, I am not even sure that I petted Chassis as I walked in the door - I just walked back to my bed and slept. Fully clothed on top of the sheets.
But now I feel better.
So I'm just going to take Tylenol or Ibuprofen and deal with the pain. Because that "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" song is still stuck in my head.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
I first met with him a couple of weeks ago. And I just have to get this out of the way. He's so very good looking. Kind of a jerk-hole, but super hot. And single. And I think that he likes me because he could NOT keep his hands out of my mouth!
So yesterday I had a retreatment done on a tooth that I've already had a root canal on. It's like a do-over.
The good news? Dr. Cameron is still has hot as what I remembered. He found another canal, hole, area, etc. that wasn't drilled by my dentist. And he drilled deeper than before. Apparently I have big, long teeth. He kept saying, "You have really long teeth, my dear!" which made me feel like I was forgetting the line in some children's bedtime story. Is that when I'm supposed to say "the better to eat you with?" because that's just creeptacular.
The bad news? He ran out of anesthesia before he finished. Which means I was in quite a bit of pain when he stopped.
And what do you know? The pain hasn't stopped.
But I'm going to try to be a brave little toaster and go into work today anyway. Sure it hurts to talk. Sure, that's the major factor of my job. But I'm running very low on sick/personal/vacation days and really? I just don't want to spend the day sleeping and hopped up on Vicodin. By the way, it makes me SUPER sleepy...so maybe I shouldn't take it before driving and going to work.
But the pain won't stop. So Vicodin it is!
Monday, July 07, 2008
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Anyway, she was blogging about what yesterday meant to her - and suffice it to say, it didn't have a lot to do with our country. I hope that it is okay that I quote her - especially since I'm still not sure what the etiquette of blogging is. Please, in all sincerity, let me know if it's not.
One of the things that I loved from her blog was this:
"But the 4th is all about independence, right? And independence is what I've wanted. The chance to be myself, the chance to have my own opinions. "... "The chance to stand on my own two feet and raise my fist in the air and say I WON'T LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE."
I can't begin to tell you what this little blurb meant to me - I've thought about it quite a bit since I read it yesterday morning. In the context of her life, and in mine. It's funny how two people can be in such different places in their life, a thought I'm sure I had 10 years ago.
I suppose part of me is proud that I'm independent. I've worked very hard to become so. Growing up in my family, money seemed to be a big control factor so I was so very thankful when I was able to be financially independent. I've made sure that I've never stayed in a place too long - I always wanted to be able to go where it pleased me to go and move to whatever job suited me best at the time. I'm 31. I've owned three homes, I've had multiple dogs, and I am living in the place where I was born - a place I've wanted to get back to since we moved when I was 7, a place I mentally called home when no place else felt safe. Career-wise, I'm an engineer... and I'm almost always amazed at how it seems to impress the parents of whomever I'm dating.
My mom likes to tell the story of how I never really liked to be touched when I was a kid. I'm sure I wanted to be nurtured for what I felt was an appropriate amount, but I didn't want to be cuddled, I didn't want to be fussed over. When I learned how to crawl and then walk, I didn't want to be carried any more. I'm sure that my desire to be independent and not allow someone else to make the choices led to me being overweight - I wanted to control me in any and all ways that I could. Suffice it to say, I've been independent in varying degrees my whole life.
You'll understand how weird it is then, that I feel most loved when other people depend on me. I don't see dependence as a weakness in anyone else. I love nothing more than to help encourage someone else, help them feel loved, beautiful, important, and fantastic - exactly the way they are. I enjoy nurturing others and giving back. Sometimes, when I feel most empty, I push to volunteer - because what I get back from doing it feels better than anything else in the world. Well...almost anything else. ;) Somehow I feel good knowing that I'm strong enough to shoulder whatever burden that a situation carries with it. I'm happy to take on more if it means someone else having an easier time.
Independence IS what I've wanted.
My big struggle these days is acknowledging my desire to be dependent.
My desire to completely trust another human being.
My desire to recognize that my life is out of control, and I require a higher power to lean on. My desire to acknowledge that being strong all the time, or even most of the time, doesn't have as high of a pay off as what I had hoped.
I'm 31 and although my life feels full from time to time, I'm tired of being independent, of being the one who makes all the decisions.
I'm ready to lean...or at least ready to learn how to lean.
Pride has gotten me this far...perhaps humility will take me the rest of the way.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Jen created this beautiful specimen that you're looking at right now. Seriously people - she rocks it out!
First, she was so very helpful. She is so patient and her customer service can't be beat. She made it to my liking and was great at coming up with ideas. I love the light background with a hint of green. I love the daisies (even the little one at the top of this tab!) and I love the plaid border (an homage to my first pair of happy fun pants). Doesn't seem like they go together? Well, they do. So there.
I love my blog.
And just so I can beat you to it, I love it so much I think I *will* marry it.
It's in the morning and we're eating croissants and sipping mimosas while still in our robes. My hair is still a little tousled but it's in a sexy way rather than a "I couldn't get a brush through this hair even if I tried" way.
I'm reading the New York Times while he's catching up on my latest blog entry. We laugh and laugh at my witty sense of humor. He winks at me after he notices that I put a reference in for just him. Our eyes lock across the table and he knows that he is so lucky to be with this funny, brilliant person.
When we're done gazing at each other, we get up from the table...allowing our maid to come in and throw away the dishes (we're so rich, we can afford new place settings daily and besides, it's smart to conserve water!). He then picks up the phone to call his buddies and they go over the humor of my blog like most guys go through plays made by their favorite football teams. Comparing blog posts like others would compare stats.
Okay, I know...you're thinking that I'm not being realistic at all... and you're right. I mean, we probably couldn't afford new place settings every day - we'd probably have to re-use them once.
Seriously ladies, is this realistic? Do your husbands/boyfriends even read your blogs or is it a special occasion when they do? If they used to read it often, has it slacked as your marriage has continued? I'm wondering if they still read it when you're essentially blogging about their life too. Even if you're not blogging about your life together, they probably hear all the stuff you're writing about anyway, right?